I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
then he tried to convert me to islam
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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