I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
