You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
