i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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