Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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