Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
