He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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