if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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