You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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