He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
