Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
