who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
