Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
