he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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