She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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