"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
do herpes really smell.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
