I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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