nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
