the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
