I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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