forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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