he puts the penis in happiness.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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