She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
