his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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