Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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