Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I deserve this hangover.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
try to milk me bitch
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
