Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
