All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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