no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
