yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
