Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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