YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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