gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
