In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
