THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm at about main and main street
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
