Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
