Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I will be naked everywhere
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
