Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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