That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
