office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
