I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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