4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
