i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
