Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
