I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
