But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
