we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
