im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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