I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
