I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
