Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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