We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
