Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
