Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I could have mohawked her pubes.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize