but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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