worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
