K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
