So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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