Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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