Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
