Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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