Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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