remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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