I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
