Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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