Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize