you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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