Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I checked into jail on foursquare
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
