Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize