I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You made out with two different species that night
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
