Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
